I have written about this before but am being called in this direction again. So let’s go a little
deeper into what it actually means for me and maybe you too.
I will admit it, I don’t always practise what I preach. I am definitely moving in the right direction of
expanding, relaxing and opening, I can reach an orgasmic state just through breathing and not
touching myself at all, but I often feel myself drawn back to those few seconds of complete
pleasure and explosion.
My body is telling me that the deeper I go into the state of opening and relaxing the more
connected I can become with myself and the deeper I can enter myself. I know that by slowing
down I am increasing sensitivity and vitality. I know that it creates and restores love in every area
of my life.
We are living faster which is creating more stress in our lives. Everything is more fast paced
including sex. Reaching orgasm is the goal and sex is often very short lived. We need to engage
in sex, solo or with a partner, with increasing ease and relaxation. In taking speed and stress out
of the act we can remove the performance pressure that comes with expectations and achieving
goals. If orgasm is not the goal we can be fully present in the moment.
When we slow down sex acts as medicine that can resolve long term problems and wounds that
cause unhappiness, separation and insecurity. Fast sex continues to desensitise our bodies
especially our genitals, orgasm is like a drug. When we have a peak orgasm there is a lot of
tension, even though some is released during orgasm, there is still tension left in the body.
We don’t really know how to bring variety and creativity into our sexual encounters. The full
spectrum of human sexual experience allows us to consciously choose to make a shift in our
sexual ways. We are able to transcend our habits and patterns, we are able to generate and make
love in the way we were designed by the Devine. This is a spiritual path. Sex becomes sacred
when you honour the intelligence of the body and create a space for the Divine to enter.
I know all this! And yet I still find myself going for that peak orgasm. To go into those states of
relaxation I need to feel safe. I have noticed when I am with my lover my body doesn’t go into
peak states so easily, I imagine my body feels safe and wants to go deeper with him. With other
men, mainly clients its different and my body goes into there pretty quickly. When I am on my
own there is no excuse.
Today I got an insight that showed me why I may be stuck in this pattern. I noticed that when I
look at men it’s with question could you be my mate? When I look at women the question is are
you a threat to me?. If you have read my previous blog you will know that there are beliefs that
peak orgasms are for procreation. They can deplete us, both male and female, and disconnect us
from our loved ones, making us look outside for new potential partners. And they are addictive,
we want more of them. I have been menopausal for a few years now, but am I still stuck in this
pattern of procreation and peak orgasms are keeping me there? It’s a possibility worth exploring.
So I am changing the way i approach peak orgasms. I will, for the time being, avoid clit orgasms
as they are superficial and most definitely stop me from going deeper. In terms of vaginal orgasms
I will explore consciously. I will slow down and be with myself in pain and in pleasure whatever
arises. If orgasm happens I will enjoy that and notice if I was present or moving towards the goal. I
will also pay attention to how I feel the hours and days after an orgasm and notice if it is serving
me. If you want to join me get in touch.
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