Working with our inner parts, it becomes obvious that it is about resistance. Our inner parts share
their resistance to life. That resistance can show itself in many ways. It can be resistance to work,
exercising, looking after our bodies, anything we do really. It can be a resistance to relationships
with other people. It can be a resistance to taking risks or living out our purpose (this is often the
same). Really moving forward comes when we notice our resistant thoughts, not just the positive
thoughts.
Most self-help wants us to believe that our healing and recovery happens when we focus on the
positive. I suppose it’s easier that way. It feels better. Spending time inundating our minds with
positive thoughts does distract us from the pain we are in. But does it work? not really. The
power lies in accepting every part of ourselves which includes our shadow self, the inner parts
within who don’t believe we could ever be good enough, feel worthy of love, do well enough or
even belong on this planet. If we don’t allow these parts to express, they will stay below the
surface inundating our everyday lives with resistance to what we want. And there are no mantras
for our conscious mind that will overpower the unconscious.
We may set an intention to write that book we have always wanted to write, but our unconscious
is telling us we aren’t good enough to be an author.We may have a mantra to take more risks, but
our unconscious is full of warnings about staying safe at all costs.We may make a decision to be
kinder to our children or our partner but our unconscious is only interested in keeping everyone
safe at all costs. We have an internal saboteur who will do anything to keep us where we are. Our
saboteur thinks we are perfect just as we are.
So ask yourself the honest and courageous question. How are you resisting life? How is your
inner talk stopping you from moving forward? Instead of blocking it, fighting it or ignoring it, can
you allow yourself to feel it, embrace it? Can you get past the discomfort that comes with this
resistance and let it express? Can you accept these resistant parts of you and allow what is there
to just be there? If we can allow ourselves to feel how we feel and say what we need to say, we
can heal our resistance in incredible ways.
Sharing our dark side with others helps us heal. Realising that we all have similar issues helps us
accept parts of ourselves we have kept from the world because we felt embarrassed. I recently
attended a few “Radical Honesty” workshops. Everyone in the group realised that we all share the
same emotions and thoughts. We all pretend to ….. when really we are feeling or wanting……. (fill
in the blanks and notice when you pretend). I shared a feeling of shame and guilt around not
being a good enough mother to my oldest child. Being honest with myself and everyone in the
group made me feel vulnerable and frightened about what everyone would think of me. But I was
being true to myself and everyone else and not pretending to be something I am not. By doing
that I was actually saying to myself: it’s ok to be you, whatever that you is. All of us, including our
shadow self wants to be heard, expressed and accepted.
Embrace your darkness embrace your light. You are absolutely perfect just the way you are.
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